Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize