nut hugger
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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