Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
