just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
