After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
