I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
