walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
