Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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