one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
