You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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