Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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