He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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