I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
