and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
