Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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