all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
