Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He kissed a someone with a penis
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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