i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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