okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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