At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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