how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
