The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
