don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
