What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize