speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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