Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize