fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
