Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize