These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
