She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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