I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
