i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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