But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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