I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
