I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize