Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
