Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize