The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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