This dress was meant to end up on your floor
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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