the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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