You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
