she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
