well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
