i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Vodka?
Forever.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
