The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
