Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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