Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
