guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
