she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's get the cat blown out
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
