Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
