Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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