I am full of burrito and curiosity
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
