Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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