i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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