I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
