i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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