Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
