I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
