jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
