Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize