I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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