i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
