Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize