My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
