physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize