I'm really into asian looking animals
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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