Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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