better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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