All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
