I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
