my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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