Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
