he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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