I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
