There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize