and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was confusing and full of hummus
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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