i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
